porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
