Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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