We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Screwed.edu
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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