You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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