They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
