I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
