To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
