I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
