You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
A bitchslap is in order.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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