one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize