it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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