There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
