oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
