Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
