we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
