what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
