doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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