Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
40s are totally the cure
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
