I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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