I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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