AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
