someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
