cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
