He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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