just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
