so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize