i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
