i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
