My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
