After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
