But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
