gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
