angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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