really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
