I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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