If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So vagazzling was a success
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
