drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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