Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
