girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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