Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
