He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
