Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
