I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
