im about as happy as oj after his trial
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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