It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
