I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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