I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
