butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
