The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
