can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
